Nepaug Bible Church - http://www.nepaugchurch.org - Pastor's Sermon Notes - http://www.nepaugchurch.org/Sermons/zz20110522.htm

BIOGRAPHIES OF BIBLE SAINTS
IV. Abraham's Servant: Finding The Right Spouse God's Way
D. Step Four: Adjusting In Courtship For Fulfilling Spousal Roles
(Genesis 24:62-67)
    Introduction: (To show the need . . . )

    Though a believer in Christ has identified the party he or she is to marry, personal adjustments must occur so the marriage will be fulfilling, for not all people who get married "live happily ever after":

    (1) The May 16, 2011 Republican-American, p. 6C ran a segment of "Annie's Mailbox" where Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar answered questions on relationships, the section being marked by the caption: "Paranoid hubby makes talking tough." An Illinois woman wrote that she and her spouse "can no longer communicate effectively with each other, and our eight-year marriage is suffering as a result."

    This was not their first marriage, either: the woman added: "We each have grown children from previous marriages, and they are on their own. Help." Here were two people who had tried in previous marriages to find happiness, and fulfillment still eluded them!

    (2) The same paper (p. 2A) ran a story of how two young Muslim young women in a northern town in India fell in love with two Hindu construction men and eloped with them!

    When these new brides returned home to make peace with their Muslim families, their own infuriated widowed mothers killed them for bringing "shame and dishonor" on their families!

    Amazingly, these young women would surely have known that marrying Hindu men when they were Muslims would certainly risk a death sentence from their families! Yet, the hope of fulfillment in marriage was so great, they unsuccessfully risked their lives for it!

    (3) Former California Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger and Maria Shriver, a past TV anchorwoman and a member of the Kennedy clan who were married in 1986, will get divorced 25 years later. Their marriage could not withstand the trauma of the recent revelation that Arnold sired a child ten years ago with a longtime household staff member, not to mention many charges of his sexual harassment of women dating back over those same ten years. (Vauhini Vara, Jim Carlton and Tamara Audi, "Schwarzenegger Had a Child With Former Household Staffer," The Wall Street Journal, 5/18/2011, p. A5)



    In view, then, of the great desire and need to be fulfilled in marriage, we ask, "Once I identify the right party God wants me to marry, how do I best adjust to him or to her in the courting phase so as to prepare for fulfillment in our married lives?!"

    Need: "If I have found the right party to marry but I am unsure how to be either a fulfilling or a fulfilled spouse, what does God advise?!"

  1. Genesis 24:62-67 records the meeting of Isaac and Rebekah, and how that encounter blossomed into a fulfilling marriage where Isaac loved Rebekah and she so responded to his love that he was fully comforted over his dear, late mother's passing, Genesis 24:67.
  2. Thus, examining this passage reveals God's plan for adjusting in the courting process for later fulfillment in marriage (as follows):
    1. Isaac's fellowship with God led to God's causing him greatly to impress Rebekah at their first meeting, Genesis 24:62-64:
      1. The difficult Hebrew text at Genesis 24:62 is best translated: "And Isaac was coming back from having gone to Beer-lahai-roi . . ." (H. C. Leupold, Exposition of Genesis , 1974, vol. II, p. 683.
      2. Now, Beer-lahai-roi is where God met Hagar in her distress, its name literally being "well of the Living One who sees me" (Ibid., v. I, p. 507), that is, Who figuratively "cares for me," Ibid., p. 506.
      3. The historical details involved show Isaac had gone there to claim the promise of the God Who saw and cared for his own need for a wife, and the God Who had pledged to fill that need (as follows):
        1. At Beer-lahai-roi, God had initially told Hagar that He would multiply her seed (through her son, Ishmael) regardless of her current distress to the contrary, Genesis 16:9-11, 13-14, 15-16.
        2. So, Isaac went there, recalling Hagar's need and claiming God's pledge to multiply his own seed in giving him a wife , Gen. 24:7.
      4. After having returned home from Beer-lahai-roi, Isaac had then walked out toward the north for a solitary late afternoon meditation with the Lord when he saw the caravan of Abraham's servant coming toward him from the north, Gen. 24:63; Ibid., v. II, p. 684.
      5. As the caravan neared and Rebekah first saw Isaac, his bearing, dress and approach under the influence of God with whom Isaac fellowshipped so impressed her, she RAPIDLY (the word for the KJV "lighted off" is naphal, "to fall," suggesting a rapid dismount, Ibid., p. 685) got off her camel in cultural respect for him though she did not yet know who he was! (Genesis 24:64-65 NIV; Ibid.)
    2. Rebekah's faith in God's plan for her marriage (Genesis 24:58) led her to submit to Isaac's leadership and courtship, Genesis 24:65: upon dismounting and then learning from Abraham's servant that the man she saw was her groom, Rebekah covered herself with a tsai'iph, a full body and facial wrap (Gen. 24:65b; Ibid.) used by Hebrew women of antiquity only as a bride. (bible.org, "The Fingerprints of God," by Keith Krell) Rebekah was presenting herself to Isaac as his bride!
    3. As God caused Isaac to impress Rebekah as he fellowshipped with the Lord, and Rebekah submitted to Isaac by faith in God, godly actions by both then followed to produce a fulfilling marriage, Gen. 24:66-67:
      1. As Abraham's servant told Isaac of the events leading to his quick acquisition of Rebekah, sensitized by his fellowship with God to be considerate of her, Isaac realized Rebekah emotionally needed time to adjust to her new setting before getting married (Genesis 24:66), so he brought her into his late mother Sarah's tent, Genesis 24:67a:
        1. Only wealthy sheikhs or chiefs have separate tents for their wives (Zondervan Pict. Ency. of the Bible, vol. Five, p. 676), so Isaac's choice first to lead Rebekah into his late mother's luxurious tent to make it her own home would leave Rebekah feeling pampered, greatly easing her adjustment to her new life!
        2. This also implies Isaac let some time pass before the wedding so that they both could become emotionally attached to each other, a considerate step for a groom in a patristic, or man-dominated culture, a step that would enhance Rebekah's trust in Isaac!
      2. When Isaac then took Rebekah to be his wife in marriage, he loved her, what every man by the Holy Spirit's power is expected of God to do in the Church era, Genesis 24:67b; Ephesians 5:25-28.
      3. Under these conditions, Rebekah so responded to Isaac that he was fully comforted after his dear, late mother's death, Genesis 24:67c:
        1. Isaac was Sarah's only and special child born to her in her old age by the miraculous provision of God, Genesis 21:1-7.
        2. Thus, she would have been very close to him, and her death in Genesis 23 would have left a huge vacuum in Isaac's life.
        3. Since Isaac was fully comforted after Sarah's death by his union with Rebekah (Gen. 24:67c), their marriage was a fulfilling one!
Application: To adjust in courtship for a fulfilling marriage, may we (1) trust in Christ as Savior and (2) fellowship with God, (a) to trust His Word and (b) rely on the Holy Spirit's power properly to influence the prospective spouse, Gal. 5:16. (3) God will cause our actions to lead the groom into gracious consideration for his bride, and the bride into submission to her groom for marital fulfillment.

Conclusion: (To illustrate the message . . . )

 In accord with this sermon's thrust on the value of fellowship with God for preparing for a fulfilling marriage, an article appeared recently on an Internet news network site that helps support this lesson.

The article claimed that though a young woman may be courted by many suitors, she is the one who chooses her life's partner. That is because a woman thinks differently than her suitors: her suitors usually focus on a single realm in the courtship, such as impressing the woman with his ability financially to support her, or on his neatness, or on his heritage, etc., but such a narrow focus is not nearly enough to impress her. Rather, the woman observes the whole suitor at once, noting how he relates to others, whether he assumes responsibility and is a good breadwinner, whether he carries himself well, etc. Thus, to impress a woman, a man must already comprehensively BE what she desires him to be or he will not get far in impressing her!

However, when a man fellowships with God, though he as a male generally focuses only on one theme, God upgrades his ENTIRE person, making him loving and joyful and peaceful and patient and kind and wholesome and dependable and gentle and self-controlled all at once, Galatians 5:16, 22-23! If over time he lives by the power of the Holy Spirit, a man is driven by God to develop all his human assets in such a frame of mind, making him attractive to a prospective bride!

That is what happened in the case of Isaac and Rebekah. Isaac had long been in fellowship with God before meeting her, and he was out in the country communing with the Lord, with that communion affecting everything about himself -- how he dressed, how he carried himself, his facial expressions, etc. When Rebekah then SAW him, her womanly "comprehensive radar" sounded off all the bells and whistles, and she immediately respected the whole man! When she learned that he was the one she would marry, she quickly shrouded herself as his bride so he would identify her as such and relate to her as her groom!

So, upon (1) trusting in Christ for salvation, and (2) as a believer, identifying the right party God wants us to wed, may we (3) fellowship with Christ via heeding His Word (4) in reliance on the Holy Spirit that (5) GOD might MAKE us effectively impress and interact with our future spouse to yield a fulfilled marriage!