Nepaug Bible Church - http://www.nepaugchurch.org - Pastor's Sermon Notes - http://www.nepaugchurch.org/Sermons/zz20040404.htm

SAMPLING GOD'S "FEAR NOTS"
Part XIV: God's Solution For Fears In Marital Crises
(Luke 1:26-45; Matthew 1:18-25)

Introduction: (To show the need . . . )

(1) In recent weeks, several believers have shared with me crises they had faced or were facing in marital relationships:

(a) I was sent an e-mail last Tuesday from a believer regarding a court hearing over a crisis they faced in their marriage. The believer urged in the circular e-mail to me along with a number of other supporters: "I am asking for your prayers as this will be rough on all of us . . . please keep us in your prayers . . ."

(b) Last Sunday in Fellowship Hall, another Christian told me how a past marital crisis had made it difficult for this one's life and the lives of others in the family long after the crisis itself was over!

(2) Their concerns are quite valid. Marital crises that end in divorce have been shown to have ongoing, debilitating affects on all involved even decades following the divorce itself. An article in the July, 1993 Reader's Digest has noted: "The ongoing California Children of Divorce Study, which [psychologist Judith] Wallerstein directs, has [found] . . . Five years after breakup, . . . more than a third of the children were experiencing moderate or severe depression. At ten years a significant number appeared to be troubled, drifting, underachieving. At 15 years many, now adults, were struggling to establish strong love relationships of their own . . .

Wallerstein's cautionary words [on divorce are as follows:] Divorce is deceptive. Legally, it is a single event, but psychologically it is a chain of events strung through time that forever changes the lives of the people involved.'" ["Divorce and Kids: The Evidence Is In," Reader's Digest, July, 1993, p. 120 as condensed from the article by Barbara Dafoe Whitehead, research associate at the Institute for American Values in New York City as taken from the April, 1993 issue of The Atlantic.]



So, in view of the PAIN that marital crises can produce if they are not effectively resolved, in view of BOTH short-term AND long-term fallout of such crises when they end in DIVORCE, how would GOD want me to HANDLE a crises I NOW face in the MARITAL realm so I and others affected can be BLESSED?



(We turn to the sermon "Need" section . . . )



Need: "I face a threatening crisis in my marriage! How may I deal with it as a WIFE or a HUSBAND to enjoy GOD'S blessing?!"
  1. Handling A Marital Crisis God's Way As A Wife, Luke 1:26-45:
    1. When God's angel, Gabriel told Mary she would conceive and bear a son, she was betrothed as a virgin to wed Joseph; for her of all people to become pregnant would lead others to think she was immoral, and deserved punishment, Heth and Wenham, Jesus and Divorce, p. 170.
    2. In such a setting, Gabriel's appearance to Mary in her private quarters naturally caused Mary to react initially with great anxiety: she feared she was about to be physically assaulted and thus have her reputation, wedding plans and whole life tragically ruined, Luke 1:26-29 NIV!
    3. However, the angel, Gabriel gave Mary the solution to her crisis:
      1. Gabriel urged Mary to "Fear not," for he had come not to harm her, but to announce God's great blessing to her in the Lord's choosing her to give birth to the promised Messiah, Luke 1:30-33!
      2. When Mary asked how this event could occur as she was an unwed virgin, Gabriel revealed the birth would be a miracle, Lk. 1:34-35!
      3. Then, partly since this event would radically change her life, God met Mary's womanly need for emotional support: He had Gabriel tell Mary that her cousin, Elizabeth was also with child by God's work so Mary could interact with her for edification, Luke 1:36-37.
      4. Mary accepted the angel's message and naturally hurried to meet Elizabeth where God blessed their mutual fellowship, 1:38-56!
  2. Handling A Marital Crisis God's Way As A Husband, Matt. 1:18ff:
    1. Learning Mary was pregnant and naturally assuming Mary had been immoral, Joseph had two rabbinic options open to him: (1) he could charge Mary with adultery, resulting in her death or (2) acquire three rabbis with her consent to end the betrothal, Ibid., p. 171; Edersheim, The Life And Times Of Jesus The Messiah, vol. ii, p. 163, ftn. # 1.
    2. Joseph was both upright and considerate (Matthew 1:19a,b), leading him to plan to acquire a private annulment in light of what he knew:
      1. Since Mary had conceived as a virgin, Joseph lacked the witnesses the Law required to charge Mary with adultery in becoming pregnant (Deut. 17:6); Ibid., Edersheim, vol. i, p. 154, ftn. #2.
      2. Besides, he was considerate of Mary, and did not want to make a public example of her in having her executed, Matthew 1:19b.
      3. Thus, Joseph felt his best option was to get an annulment, a route he gave time in great care to consider taking, Matthew 1:19b-20a!
    3. As Joseph gave time to consider his route, God revealed he should WED Mary and NOT annul the betrothal after all!
      1. Since Hebrews then believed dreams were a sign of God's favor, making a dream supply CERTAINTY that God was leading in a matter, God's angel told Joseph in a DREAM that HE should "fear not" to wed MARY, Matt. 1:20a,b; Ibid., Edersheim, p. 155!
      2. In that dream, God explained why such a step would be upright:
        1. The angel explained Mary's pregnancy was of God, so Mary was still chaste and worth Joseph's taking in marriage , 1:20.
        2. Indeed, the angel explained Mary's Child would be named "Jesus" from the Hebrew for "God saves" to show Mary's Child would save His people from sins such as immorality! (1:21)
    4. Thus enlightened, Joseph heeded God, treating Mary considerately:
      1. Joseph sought to obey God and protect the reputations of Mary and her Child, so he immediately took her to be his full wife, 1:24.
      2. Yet, aware that this unusual and HASTY change in her marital status coupled with her pregnancy as a virgin who carried God's Messiah could cause Mary stress were she then to have to function as a full wife with him, Joseph considerately refrained from being intimate with Mary until she had delivered Jesus, Matthew 1:25.
    5. [In retrospect, we see the VALUE of God's arranging for this couple to face such an unsettling interruption in their marriage : it all verifies Christ was virgin born in support of our Christian faith, Matt. 1:22f!]
Application: If facing a marital crisis, (1) we must first trust in Christ for salvation and become related to God, Jn. 3:16; 1:11ff. (2) Then, as a WIFE, (a) we heed Scripture and God's leading, (b) gaining what emotional support God supplies via GODLY ASSOCIATES (like Mary's cousin). (3) As a HUSBAND, (a) we should view ALL the RIGHT options, (b) giving TIME for GOD to guide us en route. (c) Recall God has LET us get INTO the crisis for a REASON, so FOLLOW His PRECEDENTS and seek to learn His CAUSE for it all! (d) As God ASSURES us the right PATH to take, function CONSIDERATELY toward our wife for her EMOTIONAL welfare as, what GOD calls, the "weaker vessel," 1 Pet. 3:7. (4) GOD will then HELP and BLESS us!

Lesson: When BOTH Mary AND Joseph HEEDED God's Word on HOW they were to ADJUST to the marital crises they BOTH faced, God calmed their fears and helped them BOTH find HIS blessing FOR them!

Conclusion: (To illustrate the sermon lesson . . . )

 Last Sunday following our worship service, a believer spoke with me in Fellowship Hall about this party's decades old divorce that had led to much difficulty for this believer and the believer's extended family. The Christian shared with me a very wonderful spiritual victory in the matter that God had given to those involved as a result of this believer's Biblical response to that former divorce.

Having come to faith in Christ since the divorce and having testified of God's leading this believer's children to Christ, this believer told me that, the day before the former spouse died, one of the adult children of that former marriage who had come to faith in Christ by this believer's godly life and testimony had actually been able to lead that former spouse to faith in Christ while that former spouse was near death!

What had once been a tragic breakup of a marriage will now end in eternal unity and blessing for all involved in this Christian family: in the eternal state, they will all belong to the Body of Christ as glorified believers, with all the past pain and spiritual defeat of the broken marriage finally a matter of the past that had been swallowed up by the grace of God! God will wipe away all tears (Revelation 21:4) for them all, for such former things will then be passed away!



Spiritual victory IS available by God's GRACE in the face of marital CRISES if we, like Mary and Joseph did so long ago heed GOD'S directives for how we PERSONALLY are to function as the WIFE or the HUSBAND in the crisis!

The marriage itself may or may not be saved, for it takes BOTH the husband AND the wife to yield to God's will for a difficult marriage to SURVIVE. However, when we seek GOD'S WILL as the WIFE or the HUSBAND, God INDIVIDUALLY blesses US, and keeps the DOOR OPEN for MORE blessings to be spread AROUND should the OTHER partner get right with God!



Let us then heed the Lord and follow HIS lead in the crises we may currently face regarding marital relationships!