Nepaug Bible Church - http://www.nepaugchurch.org - Pastor's Sermon Notes - http://www.nepaugchurch.org/Sermons/zz20030921.htm

EPHESIANS: GOD'S SURE PLAN FOR INSECURE TIMES
Part VIII: Mutual Edification In The Church By God's Power
E. Relying On Scripture And The Holy Spirit For Blessing In The Family
(Ephesians 5:18, 21; 6:1-4)

Introduction: (To show the need . . . )

(1) Not all is "rosy" in the homes in our area of Connecticut:

In a store in nearby Canton, the following provocative words appear on a poster behind the customer counter:

"Children; tired of being harassed by your stupid parents? Act now! Move out, get a job, pay your own bills while you still know everything!" As Nadine and I were shopping in the store, I noticed the sign and began to call her attention to it when the clerk suddenly interrupted us by lifting up a piece of paper and saying, "Here, want a copy?" The poster has gained the attention so many customers that copies of it are handed out to them by the store on a regular basis.

(2) Yet, there are lots of efforts that aim to solve the family problems represented by the words in this poster; the Christian Book Distributors current catalogue carries the following books and videos on a blessed home life: "The Power of a Praying Parent," "Shepherding a Child's Heart," "The New Dare to Discipline," "Preparing for Adolescence," "The Strong-Willed Child," "Bringing Up Boys," "Bringing Up Boys--Video Seminar," "Parent's Handbook (to) Shepherding a Child's Heart" and "For This Child I Prayed."

(3) Yet, not all is well even with Christian families who are familiar with such works: (a) several reputable teens have informed me that teens in our area who have even attended good area Christian day schools have been involved in immorality and illegal drugs! (b) Sometimes the parents need help, too: over the years, area Christian teens have approached other Christian adults, including me to say, "I just can't talk to my parents anymore about this for a bunch of reasons, but I really need a Christian adult's input! Can you help me?" (c) At times even unsaved people have contacted me or others in our Church to voice their concern about severe problems in well-known area Christian families.



Well, if a generation of Christians exposed to family life seminars, videos, tapes, books and workbooks have not solved all the HOME LIFE problems that occur even in CHRISTIAN homes, WHERE do we go from HERE? What is the SOLUTION?



(We turn to the sermon "Need" section . . . )



Need: "As in the case of the quest for a happy Christian marriage,' many videos, tapes, books and seminars have not cleared up all the problems many Christians face in parent-child roles. HOW does God's blessing arise in FAMILY life in REALISTIC terms?"
  1. Due to the sin NATURE within us, it is IMPOSSIBLE for us who are EVEN in CHRISTIAN homes in our OWN BEST EFFORTS to function toward one another as GOD commands that we do:
    1. Paul calls Christian children to "obey your parents in the Lord" as it is "right" in honoring their parents with the promise of a [relatively in the dispensation of the Church, cf, 2 Cor. 4:8-11] longer and more prosperous earthly life, Ephesians 6:1-3 KJV with Exodus 20:12.
    2. Then, he tells fathers and mothers [I hold the Eph. 6:4 KJV "fathers" (pateres) means "parents" (cf. NIV) due to the Eph. 6:1-2 context and use of this word in Heb. 11:23 for parents, UBS Grk. N.T., p. 678, 771)] to cease errant methods and rear their children properly:
      1. Eph. 6:4 is to be viewed with the parallel Col. 3:21 passage since both Ephesians and Colossians were written by Paul at nearly the same time as is seen by their great similarity in style and vocabulary, cf. Donald Guthrie, New Testament Intro., p. 492-499.
      2. Accordingly, Ephesians 6:4 calls parents to "cease provoking" their children (may parorgidzete), and this idea is explained in Col. 3:21 to mean a cessation of "embittering" ( may erethidzete) children lest the children eventually come to lose heart (athumosin), UBS Greek New Testament, p. 678, 701 with Arndt & Gingrich, A Greek-English Lexicon of the New Testament, p. 635, 308 and 21.
      3. In contrast to such errant rearing efforts, parents are to "nourish" (ektrephete) their children in the "child discipline" (paideia) and "admonition by word" (nouthesia) of the Lord, Ibid., UBS Grk. N.T., p. 678; R. C. Trench, Synonymns of the N.T., p. 111-114.
      4. In short, parents must not frustrate their children by using either harsh or conversely weak or inconsistent rearing methods; rather, they should example, teach, admonish and punish with balance, consistency and clarity to guide their children into maturity!
    3. However, many parents feel woefully inadequate to parent this way, and children can often feel either oppressed or conversely be spoiled and unruly in the home, school or society.
  2. Thus, Paul revealed GOD'S ENABLING for Christian children AND parents to FUNCTION RIGHTLY as follows:
    1. As we previously learned, the participle, "submitting" in Ephesians 5:21 modifies the main verb, "be filled" found in Ephesians 5:18.
    2. Thus, the people in the subordinate-superior roles listed in Ephesians 5:22-6:9, including those in the family as per Ephesians 6:1-4 are to function well by being "filled with the (Holy) Spirit," Ephesians 5:18!
  3. To DESCRIBE HOW this can WORK in FAMILY roles, we note and APPLY Christ's reference to the SPIRITUAL PARENTING that the Holy Spirit performs with ADULT believers (as follows):
    1. In announcing the coming of the Holy Spirit, Jesus said He would not leave His disciples literally "orphaned" (orphanous), but send them the Holy Spirit, Jn. 14:18; 14:17; Ibid., UBS Grk. N. T., p. 388.
    2. Thus, the Holy Spirit actually PARENTS adult believers, teaching them in alignment with written Scripture (Jn. 16:13; 14:23), guiding them (Rom. 8:14), assuring them of the truth (Rom. 5:5: 8:16), interceding for them unto the Father (Rom. 8:26) and doing other parental ministries, Ryrie Study Bible, KJV, ftn. to Jn. 14:16.
    3. That Spirit leads godly believers to will and do God's will, Phil. 2:13.
    4. Thus, a HUMAN PARENT who is controlled by the PARENTING omniscient, righteous GOD the Holy Spirit will readily WILL and DO what he should to PARENT his CHILD uprightly, and the Spirit-led CHILD will appreciate and YIELD to that parent's actions as he wills and acts by the SAME SPIRIT'S influence!
Application: (1) For a BLESSED home life, (a) BOTH children AND parents must be INDWELT by GOD the Holy Spirit through faith in Christ as Savior from sin, John 3:16; Romans 8:9b. (b) Then, IF we sin AFTER salvation, we need to CONFESS it to God for cleansing and empowering by the Holy Spirit, 1 John 1:9. (c) Next, both child and parent must rely on the Holy Spirit to DO Paul's commands in Ephesians 6:1-4. (2) If only ONE party, the child OR the parent relies on the Holy Spirit, though the HOME may be unfulfilling, the GODLY child OR the GODLY parent finds BLESSING in his or her personal walk with God IN that home experience, Psalm 23:5a,b,c.

Lesson: Humanly IMPOSSIBLE, GODLY FAMILY ROLES become EASILY WORKABLE if BOTH parents AND children RELY upon GOD the INDWELLING HOLY SPIRIT to function in their proper ROLES. Th e HOLY SPIRIT then PARENTS the WHOLE HOUSEHOLD under CHRIST'S CHIEF SHEPHERDSHIP, John 16:13; 1 Peter 5:4.

Conclusion: (To illustrate the sermon lesson . . . )

 Some years ago, a young Christian teen who really wanted to live for the Lord learned some young women in his Church's youth group were living very immoral lives.

However, he feared no one would believe him were he to share this information with adults in the Church: his parents were close friends of the parents of the young women who were in sin, and the immoral teens were also the daughters of the Church leadership over him! He feared going to the sinful young women about it as he feared they might spread a false story about him to protect their reputations.

This young man's parents received criticism from other adults in the Church for his staying aloof from these young women, so his parents concluded he was acting in pride and started to punish him!

The teen was very tempted to react in revenge, but he depended on the Lord to hold true to his role and protect institutions around him.

Many years later, his parents discovered the true nature of these young women as they turned out to live very sinful lives in adulthood. This former teen's mother then asked him if he had known in his teens about the sinfulness of these women, and he responded he did. When his mother then asked him, "Why then didn't you tell us?" he replied to his mother's stunned silence, "You wouldn't have believed me!"

His mother then learned he had been in an impossible "bind" of not wanting to disrespect his parents but of also not wanting to date immoral young women! His only choice was to suffer in silence in order to do the will of God in his role as a submissive yet upright son!

The matter is now settled between the man and his parents. He now serves God, and wishes to remain anonymous regarding this testimony.

I use this former teen's testimony to show the VALUE of depending on the Holy Spirit in home life: had this teen's PARENTS leaned on the Holy Spirit, they would have been impressed to ASK their son in a NON-THREATENING WAY just WHY he was not dating these girls! [This may have solved the girls' problems, too!]

Yet, as the young man DID look to God for help, he could live in an oppressive situation and preserve lives around him!

May we DEPEND upon the Holy Spirit for GODLY living in the home, no matter what we face, and BE a BLESSING in it!