Nepaug Bible Church - http://www.nepaugchurch.org - Pastor's Sermon Notes - http://www.nepaugchurch.org/Sermons/zz20030914.htm

EPHESIANS: GOD'S SURE PLAN FOR INSECURE TIMES
Part VIII: Mutual Edification In The Church By God's Power
D. Relying On Scripture And The Holy Spirit For Blessing In Marriage
(Ephesians 5:18, 21, 22-33)

Introduction: (To show the need . . . )

It is obvious that marriage in America's Christian circles is in need of improvement: the current Christian Book Distributors catalogue out of Peabody, Massachusetts lists the following books on improving or protecting Christian marriages: "The Power of a Praying Husband," "The Power of a Praying Wife," "His Needs, Her Needs," "Surviving an Affair," "His Needs, Her Needs for Parents: Keeping Romance Alive," "Covenant Marriage: Building Communication And Intimacy," "The Five Love Languages," "Every Man's Battle: Winning the War on Sexual Temptation," "Every Young Man's Battle," "Every Woman's Battle," "Before You Say I Do'" and "Not Even a Hint: Guarding Your Heart Against Lust."

However, for decades, many churches have hosted marriage improvement seminars, and numerous cassettes, videos, books and sermons have been churned out in the last 40 years to cause one to think that by now all marital problems in Christian homes would have been solved! But that is not the case! The July-September, 1994 issue of Dallas Theological Seminary's academic journal, Bibliotheca Sacra records a conversation author Leith Anderson had with theologian and Sinologist, Jonathan Chao of Taiwan on the plight of American Christian families. Mr. Chao revealed that suffering Chinese Christians view America's Christians as being a suffering group of believers! Though we Americans do not suffer physical torture for our faith as many of the Chinese have, these Chinese believers "have observed that the suffering of American Christians is focused in their families . . . The rise in divorces, child and spouse abuse, infidelities and resulting emotional pain have been explosive." (emphases ours)

Well, IF we have had so much exposure to videos, cassette tapes, books and seminars on marriage improvement, and that with such a small impact, these things are FAILING to help!

I believe a major reason is the LACK of ABILITY many well-meaning believers have in NOT being ABLE to do all the principles' these sources promote. I heard one lady who had suffered a broken marriage tell a Christian friend, I don't want to hear you tell me one more principle on healing my marriage -- I'm tired of it!'"

So, WHERE do we go from HERE?

(We turn to the sermon "Need" section . . . )

Need: "Many Christian seminars, videos, cassette tapes or books on happiness in Christian marriage' themes I find to be unworkable! My spouse and I are just NOT ABLE to DO all the principles' these sources dictate that we do, so where do we go from here?!"
  1. Because of the sin NATURE within us, it is IMPOSSIBLE for EVEN CHRISTIAN spouses in our OWN BEST EFFORTS to function toward one another as GOD dictates that we do:
    1. Paul calls Christian wives to "submit yourselves unto your own husbands as unto the Lord," and that in "everything," Eph. 5:22-24.
    2. Then, he tells Christian husbands to "love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it," Ephesians 5:25.
    3. However, many wives and husbands feel woefully inadequate to reach such impressive standards of behavior! Indeed, Paul writes in Romans 7:15-20 that the sin nature within himself kept him unable to do in his own power what was good as even he tried to be godly!
  2. Thus, Paul revealed GOD'S ENABLING for Christian spouses to FUNCTION RIGHTLY as follows, Ephesians 5:18-21, 22-33:
    1. As we learned in our last message, the participle, "submitting" in Ephesians 5:21 modifies the main verb, "be filled" in Ephesians 5:18.
    2. Thus, the people who exist in the various subordinate-superior roles mentioned in Ephesians 5:22-6:9 are to function successfully in their respective roles by being "filled with the (Holy) Spirit," Eph. 5:18!
    3. This idea is upheld by Galatians 5:16 where Paul writes if we "walk in the Spirit . . . ye shall not fulfill the lust of the (sin nature) flesh."
  3. This ENABLING was PATTERNED for believers by the Lord Jesus Christ in His earthly life (as follows):
    1. When Jesus came to earth, he laid aside the visible USE of His divine attributes (although He was always fully God), Phil. 2:5-8; Col. 2:9.
    2. In its place, Jesus RELIED on God the Holy Spirit's power to function well in His life and ministry, cf. Isa; 11:1-2; Matt. 3:16-4:1.
    3. Thus, when a believer relies on the indwelling Holy Spirit's power for his earthly life and ministry, he will live a quality of life that mimics that of the Lord Jesus in His earthly life and ministry, cf. 1 John 2:6; Bible Knowledge Commentary, N. T., p. 888.
  4. Thus, in dependence upon the INDWELLING GOD the HOLY SPIRIT, GOD produces the following respective Christ-like actions in Christian husbands and wives, Ephesians 5:22-33:
    1. As a believing wife consciously relies upon the indwelling God the Holy Spirit to live Christ's quality of life through her, she is able to do the following Christ-like directives of Eph. 5:22-24, 33b:
      1. As a believing wife relies upon the indwelling God the Holy Spirit to live Christ's quality of life through her, she submits to her own husband as unto the Lord in every area of life as Jesus submitted to His Father, Eph. 5:18, 21, 22, 24b; Mtt. 26:39.
      2. [Of course, this means there is a limit to what she can do to submit to her spouse this way: if she submits in God's power, she can do only what is right do and not what her husband might want her to do that is sinful, Eph. 5:18 with Acts 5:29!]
      3. As a believing husband relies upon the indwelling God the Holy Spirit to live Christ's quality of life through him, he is enabled to do the following Christ-like directives of Ephesians 5:25, 28-32:
        1. As a believing husband consciously relies upon the indwelling God the Holy Spirit to live Christ's quality of life through him, the Holy Spirit equips him to love his wife in a self-sacrificing way as he would his own body, Ephesians 5:25, 28.
        2. In the process, he sees the Holy Spirit leading him to nourish and edify his wife as he would were he taking care of his own physical body, Ephesians 5:29. This applies to all realms of life -- the emotional, mental, physical and spiritual realms.
Application: (1) For a BLESSED marriage, (a) BOTH spouses must be INDWELT by GOD the Holy Spirit through faith in Christ as Savior from sin to be spiritually born of God, Jn. 3:16; Rom. 8:9b. (b) THEN, if we have sinned AFTER salvation, we must CONFESS it for cleansing and empowering by the Holy Spirit, 1 John 1:9. (c) Thus, a wife and a husband must BOTH rely upon the Holy Spirit to DO Paul's commands in Ephesians 5:22-33, cf. Gal. 5:16, 22-23. (2) If only ONE spouse relies on the Holy Spirit, though the MARRIAGE may be unfulfilling, the GODLY one finds BLESSING in his or her personal walk with God, cf. 1 Corinthians 7:13-14; Psalm 23:5a,b,c.

Lesson: The IMPOSSIBLE, GODLY MARRIAGE becomes EASILY WORKABLE in wives and husbands if they DEPEND upon the INDWELLING HOLY SPIRIT to function in their ROLES in marriage!

Conclusion: (To illustrate the sermon lesson . . . )

 (1) In 37 years of ministry in churches in the states of Washington, Oregon and California in the Far West, in Nebraska in the Midwest, in Texas in the South and here in Connecticut in the Northeast, in EVERY case where I have had the privilege of ministry to a troubled marriage's spouses, when both spouses chose to believe in Christ and depend upon the Holy Spirit as a way of life, the marriage not only survived, but even THRIVED!

Why? It is SIN that causes marital problems, and it is GOD'S imparted RIGHTEOUSNESS by the Holy Spirit's POWER that overcomes sin's power and influence to SOLVE marital problems!



(2) On the Tuesday, September 9, 2003 ABC Morning News program, Diane Sawyer was interviewing medical experts who had led a study with numerous doctors, including researchers at Harvard University that found surprisingly that America's children are biologically "hard wired" to need to feel spiritually connected to God and to other people. Failure here will lead to a high incidence of depression and suicide! (These experts explained that since 1950 when involvement with God or organized religion was taken out of the lives of many of America's children, cases of child suicide has risen and stayed up 150 %!)

In fact, to the surprise of these experts, [regardless of the teaching of atheistic evolution and the outlawing of prayer in our public schools] 96 % of America's teens believe in GOD!

That should be no surprise! Augustine, an Early Church Father and believer in Christ once wrote: "Thou hast made us for Thyself, O God, and the heart of man is restless until it finds its rest in Thee." ("How to have a happy and meaningful life," Dallas Theological Seminary, 1978, p. 3) Yes, we ADULTS need God, TOO, and we need Him in our MARRIAGES to INSURE our MARRIAGES work well!



May we trust in Christ as Savior from sin and then rely upon the indwelling Holy Spirit for blessing in our marriages!