THRU THE BIBLE EXPOSITION

Proverbs: Topical Applications of Proverbs

III. The Proverbs Themselves, Proverbs 10:1-31:31

R. Responding To Troublesome People

Introduction: (To show the need . . .)

Paul wrote in 2 Timothy 3:1-9 that in the latter days of Church History, hard times would come as troubling people would arise. Evidence that this forecast is being fulfilled abounded in the October 8^th Republican-American:

(1) The front page lead story’s title read, “Connecticut colleges report more than 100 rapes in 2025.” Natasha Sokoloff who authored the story cited Beth Hamilton, executive director of the Connecticut Alliance to End Sexual Violence as saying the reports “are a ‘tiny snapshot’” of “the true prevalence of sexual assaults on college campuses.”

(2) A letter by Timothy C. Moynahan of Waterbury held, “The media . . . often fosters outrage and diminishes individual autonomy through sophisticated psychological manipulation and behavioral engineering.” (Op. cit., p. A6)

(3) An insert in the paper ran a full page ad for people who are considering suicide to call the 988 suicide and crisis lifeline. Another full page ad in the same insert gave the “Sound It Out Together” group’s appeal for parents to support their children, listening to them as a form of love. Such crises reveal that people often face troubling parties.

Need: So we ask, “If we face troublesome people in fulfillment of prophecy, how does God want us to respond?”

I. God’s “wisdom,” His hokmah, or fixed eternal moral order for success and blessing, applies to many issues of human concern, including how to respond well to troublesome people.

II. We thus view proverbs as translated from the Hebrew Biblical text (Kittel, Biblia Hebraica) in the Book of Proverbs that provide God’s directives on responding well to troublesome people (as follows):

A. The Lord has provided proverbs that help us identify troublesome people for our discernment and insight:

1. Troublesome people sin by their words:

a. They lie: (i) “The mouth of an adulteress is a deep pit; he who is under the wrath of Yahweh will fall into it,” Prov. 22:14. (ii) “Like a coating of glaze over earthenware are fervent lips with an evil heart,” Prov. 26:23. (iii) “A lying tongue hates those it hurts, and a flattering mouth works ruin,” Prov. 26:28. (iv) “A malicious man disguises himself with his lips, but in his heart he harbors deceit. Though his speech is charming, do not believe him, for seven abominations fill his heart. His malice may be concealed by deception, but his wickedness will be exposed in the assembly,” Prov. 26:24-26.

b. They gossip: (i) A perverse man stirs up dissension, and a gossiper separates close friends,” Prov. 16:28. (ii) “The words of a gossip are like choice morsels; they go down into the innermost parts,” Prov. 18:8.

2. Troublesome people sin by their deeds:

a. They often use excessive and manipulative body language: “He who winks with his eye is plotting perversity; he who purses his lips is bent on evil,” Prov. 16:30.

b. They are destructively self-centered in relating to other people: (i) “Like a club, a spear or a sharp arrow is the man who gives false testimony against his neighbor. Like a bad tooth or a lame foot is reliance on the unfaithful in times of distress. Like one who takes away a garment on a cold day, or like vinegar poured on soda, is one who sings songs to a heavy heart,” Prov. 25:18-20. (ii) “Like a madman shooting firebrands or deadly arrows is a man who deceives his neighbor and says, ‘I was only joking!’” (Prov. 26:18-19) (iii) “He who separates himself [from others] pursues selfish desires; he quarrels against all sound judgment,” Prov. 18:1. (iv) “An adult man at the height of his powers (gever) who oppresses the poor and helpless is like a driving rain that leaves no crops,” Prov. 28:3. (v) “Anger is cruel and fury overwhelming, but who can stand before jealousy?” (Prov. 27:4) (vi) “He who loves a quarrel loves sin; he who builds a high gate invites destruction,” Prov. 17:19.

B. God then provides instruction on responding to such troublesome people:

1. The Lord directs that we take self-protective steps in responding to troublesome people (as follows):

a. “Do not make friends with a hot-tempered man, and do not associate with one who is easily angered, lest you learn his ways and get yourself ensnared,” Prov. 22:24-25.

b. “Starting a quarrel is like breaching a dam; thus, drop the matter before a dispute breaks out,” Prov. 17:14.

c. “Do not eat the food of a man of selfish motives, do not crave his delicacies, for as he thinks in his heart, thus he is. ‘Eat and drink,’ he says to you, but his heart is not with you. You will vomit up the little you have eaten and will have wasted your compliments,” Prov. 23:6-8.

d. “Better a dry crust of bread and peace with it than a house full of sacrifices with strife,” Prov. 17:1.

e. “Without wood a fire goes out; without gossip a quarrel dies down,” Prov. 26:20.

f. “Drive out the mocker and out goes strife; quarrels and insults are ended,” Prov. 22:10.

g. “Do not be jealous of wicked men, do not desire to be with them, for they devise dealing violence in their hearts, and their lips talk about making trouble,” Prov. 24:1-2.

h. “Do not fret because of evil men or be envious of the wicked; because there is no future for the evil man, and the lamp of the wicked will be snuffed out,” Prov. 24:19-20.

2. God then directs us to take certain positive actions to counteract the bad influence of troublesome people:

a. We must seek to understand the thinking of troublesome people to deal with their bad influence: (i) “The purposes of the heart of a man are deep waters, but a discerning man draws them out,” Prov. 20:5. (ii) “A wise man attacks the city of the mighty and pulls down the stronghold in which they trust,” Prov. 21:22.

b. We must try to dilute the anger in people that is created by troubling people: (i) “A gift given in secret soothes anger, and a bribe concealed in the cloak pacifies great wrath,” Prov. 21:14. (ii) “It is an honor to a man to cease from strife, but every fool bursts out in contention,” Prov. 20:3. (iii) “A hot-tempered man stirs up discord, but he who is slow to anger calms a quarrel,” Prov. 15:18. (iv) “Mockers stir up a city, but wise men turn away anger,” Prov. 29:8. (v) “He who covers over an offense promotes love, but he who repeats the matter separates close friends,” Prov. 17:9. (vi) “Like cold water to a weary soul is good news from [relatives, friends in] a distant land,” Prov. 25:25 (Bible Know. Com., O. T., p. 961).

c. We must stay righteous to counter the bad influence of troublesome people: (i) “Like a muddied spring or a polluted well is a righteous man who gives way to the wicked,” Prov. 25:26. (ii) “When the righteous triumph, there is elation, but when the wicked rise to power, men go into hiding,” Prov. 28:12. (iii) “When the wicked rise to power, people go into hiding, but when they perish the righteous thrive,” Prov. 28:28. (iv) “When the righteous thrive the people rejoice, but when the wicked rule the people groan,” Prov. 29:2. (v) “The righteous nobleman detests the dishonest, and the wicked detest the upright,” Proverbs 29:27. (vi) “When justice is practiced it brings great joy to the righteous, but terror to the workers of iniquity,” Prov. 21:15. (vii) “Many men claim to have loyal love, but who can find a faithful man?” (Prov. 20:6)

d. Ultimately, we need to relate to troublesome people in accountability to the Lord: (i) “If your enemy is hungry, give him food to eat; if he is thirsty, give him water to drink; for in doing this you will heap burning coals on his head and Yahweh will reward you,” Prov. 25:21-22. (ii) “When the ways of a man are pleasing to Yahweh, He makes even his enemies to be at peace with him,” Prov. 16:7. (iii) “Casting the lot [where God makes the decision] settles disputes and keeps strong opponents apart,” Prov. 18:18.

Lesson: Troublesome people are sinfully and destructively self-centered, so God directs godly believers to take protective measures in facing them and to exert wise, upright actions to diffuse the bad influence of such people.

Application: (1) May we trust in Christ Who died as our Atoning Sacrifice for sin that we might receive God's gift of eternal life, John 3:16; 1 Corinthians 15:1-11. (2) May we rely on Scripture to discern troublesome people and to take protective measures in facing them while asserting upright actions that diffuse their troubling influence.

Conclusion: (To illustrate the message and/or provide additional guidance . . . )

Years ago, I ministered in a Bible church on the Olympic Peninsula west of Seattle, Washington. While I was there, the Church supported a youth director from a Bible school one summer, giving him room and board and loaning him a car. The Church also paid the youth director $25 a week for personal expenses and for gas for the car.

After the youth director had returned to college that fall, the pastor complained that the youth director had been paid $25 too much, so the Pastor fired off a letter to the student demanding that he reimburse the Church! The college student heeded the Pastor’s demand and wrote back to the Church, stating that he did not intend to wrong the Church but that he had simply cashed whatever checks the Treasurer had given him! At the time, the student was upset that the Pastor had publicly undermined his character though the student had never intended to wrong anyone!

Weeks later, one of the elderly Church deacons mailed the student a personal check for $25. That deacon had not agreed with what the Pastor had done, and he tried to end the tension by privately sending the student a check from his own account! The student was amazed and appreciated that deacon’s action, and the matter was settled!

That is how God wants us to function in view of troublesome people – He wants us to act like that deacon!

May we trust in Christ Who died as our Atoning Sacrifice for sin that we might receive God’s gift of eternal life. May we then rely on the Holy Spirit to respond to troublesome people like Scripture directs.