THRU THE BIBLE EXPOSITION

Deuteronomy: Moses' Great Appeal For Israel To Obey God For Blessing

Part V: Specific Treaty Stipulations Of The Great King, Deuteronomy 12-26

M. Heeding God's Directives On Preserving Family Order, Deuteronomy 21:10-23

1. Heeding God's Directives For An Edifying Marriage

(Deuteronomy 21:10-14)

Introduction: (To show the need . . .)

A great need exists today for fulfillment in marriage, and thus eventually for the preservation of marital order:

(1) Many women are being badly mistreated by many men today:

(a) Erin Landau, editor of The Dartmouth, America's oldest newspaper, wrote last month about the December 2013 debut of the movie, "The Wolf of Wall Street" starring Leonardo DiCaprio as Wall Street tycoon Mr. Belfort, and this movie presents Belfort as decadently indulging himself with prostitutes while making lots of money in the stock market. Landau went to a theater to see the movie and reported that, regardless of the efforts of the feminist movement to counter the mistreatment of women, "(i)n the theater, people clapped and cheered for Belfort's debauchery, never pausing to really notice the women he used and abused along the way . . ." (bustle.com)

(b) Women are abusively assaulted in the military: The Wall Street Journal, December 30, 2013, p. A6 ran the story, "Sex-Assault Reports Surge For Military," telling of "(a) sharp increase in the number of sexual assault reports filed by members of the armed services."

(c) Worldwide, the mistreatment of women is scandalous. We often hear of extensive sexual assaults in India and "honor killings" of Muslim women charged with adultery who have actually been forcibly ravished.

(2) On the other hand, the way the feminist movement has reacted to such mistreatment of women has come to harm "Western civilization" according to feminist Camille Paglia. In a recent interview with Bari Weiss, an associate editorial features editor at The Wall Street Journal ("A Feminist Defense of Masculine Virtues," December 28-29, 2013, p. A13), "Ms. Paglia," whose "dissertation adviser at Yale was Harold Bloom," expressed dismay that "many men" function today "with 'no models of manhood,'" that "'(m)asculinity is just becoming something that is imitated from the movies. There's nothing left. There's no room for anything manly right now.'"

"Ms. Paglia" added that "men aren't the only ones suffering from the decline of men. Women, particularly elite upper middle-class women, have become 'clones' condemned to 'Pilates for the next 30 years,'" that "'(o)ur culture doesn't allow women to know how to be womanly.'" (Ibid.)

Need: "With today's great problems relative to the incorrect ways men and women often relate to one another, what does GOD direct toward preserving the marital order in a FULFILLING way for BOTH genders?!"

I. When Deuteronomy 21:10-14 was written, Israel faced exposure to the typical pagan practice that women who were captured in war became objects of male lust and abuse to the harm of the social order:

A. Warriors in the Ancient Near East often captured women of an enemy nation in battle and proceeded to indulge their lusts by immediately sexually assaulting them, Bible Know. Com., O. T., p. 300.

B. Such abuses lead to great mental and emotional problems for the abused women while also undermining the morals of men, leading to deterioration of the family unit and so harming a nation's entire social order.

II. Thus, Deuteronomy 21:10-14 taught Israel on the PROPER roles of men and women in relating to one another toward a mutually fulfilling preservation of marriage and thus of the nation's social order:

A. Deuteronomy 21:10-14 is part of the Deuteronomy chapters 12-26 specific treaty stipulations (Bible Know. Com., O. T., p. 260) that were not an exhaustive list of God's laws, but instructed Israel on specific spiritual challenges she would face upon entering the land of Canaan (Ibid., p. 283; Deuteronomy 4:10).

B. As such, God, the Creator of men and women, gave a constructive, fulfilling pattern for men and women to be united in marriage in CONTRAST to the typical pagan destructive interaction of men and women:

1. God directed men to obey His Word for victory in war and its reward of enjoying the spoils of war, including captured women of foreign nations that were defeated by Israel, Deuteronomy 21:10 et al.:

a. Deuteronomy 21:10-11a teaches God would give Israel's men victory in war over Gentiles, including spoils of war like captured foreign women (other than the Canaanites they were to destroy, Ibid., p. 300).

b. Such victory was God's reward to Israel's men for obeying Him in life, cf. Deut. 28:1, 28 with 28:15, 25.

2. God thus sanctioned a godly adult warrior's initiative to want to mate with a beautiful woman, Deut. 21:10-12a: God directed that when Israel's warriors fought Gentiles, and among the captives they saw a woman "beautiful in form" (yephat-to'ar, B. D. B., A Heb.-Eng. Lex. of the O. T., p. 421 and 1061) that they were "attached to in love [attracted to]" (hashaq, Ibid., p. 365) with the desire to mate, that this was a GOD-GIVEN desire in a man! (Deut. 21:10-11a) Opposite the view touted by FEMINISM, the CREATOR made the ADULT MAN to INITIATE a DESIRE for an ATTRACTIVE female MATE!

3. On the OTHER hand, GOD directed that the MEETING of this warrior's DESIRE be DELAYED for adjustments to be made in BOTH the WOMAN AND the MAN toward a fulfilling, stable marriage:

a. God directed that proper adjustments occur in the woman the warrior desired, Deut. 21:12-13: (1) the warrior in Israel was to take the desired woman he captured into his house so she would begin to adjust to her new surroundings in a protected, domestic environment conducive to settled life opposite the trauma of war she had experienced, Deut. 21:12a. (2) There she was to shave her head, trim her nails and remove the attractive clothing she wore when captured, and so mourn the loss of her former life for a full month, Deut. 21:12b-13a ESV. (3) The warrior who had captured her could then take her in marriage and be intimate with her, Deut. 21:13b. (4) If the warrior chose to take the woman in marriage when she was still not back to her peak beautiful form (with her hair not fully re-grown in one month), this choice would cause the woman to be sure he truly LOVED her, making for a better marriage! (5) Thus, a captured woman was given time in a peaceful home to adjust toward marriage before the man was intimate with her!

b. God also directed that proper adjustments occur in the man who desired the woman, Deut. 21:12-13: (1) When the warrior who desired the captured woman had to live for a month in her presence with the hair of her head, her nails and decorative clothing removed, he had to learn to love the person of the woman in the ABSENCE of what had initially attracted her to him! (Ibid, p. 300) (2) Even a month later the woman's hair would not have grown back to its former beauty, so if the man then decided to marry her, he did so based on his love of her INNER person! (3) Hence, the man was given time to get to know and to love the INNER person of the woman he had originally desired for her EXTERNAL beauty!

c. If the woman after that one month failed to please the man perhaps for not accepting Israel's God so that the man no longer wanted her as his wife (Ibid.), he had to release her, giving up all rights to her to guard her dignity versus the abusive treatment of captured women in pagan lands, Deut. 21:14; Ibid., p. 301. All people bore God's image and were honorable, including captured Gentile women in the Ancient Near East.

Lesson: Opposite the abusive, socially destructive way pagan warriors typically related to the women they captured in war and desired, God directed that Israel's godly warriors who had been rewarded by God with victory in battle and the capture of attractive women were to handle their God-given male drive to mate such a woman by delaying the meeting of the drive so that both the woman and the man might correctly adjust to each other in mutual trust, love and order for the preservation of solid, fulfilling marriages and Israel's national society in general.

Application: (1) May we trust in Christ for salvation from sin, John 3:16. (2) As believers, may we realize that the desire for mating fulfillment in marriage is fully condoned by God (cf. Hebrews 13:4a), but time and planning must occur to avoid immorality and abuses (cf. Hebrews 13:4b with Deuteronomy 21:10-14). (3) May we thus build a quality relationship with the prospective spouse God rewards us to meet for an eventual edifying marriage.

Conclusion: (To illustrate the message . . .)

My late Mother used to give me advice while I was growing up that ran something like this: "Son, let me tell you a big secret about us women. If we truly admit it, we want nothing more than for some dashing man to rush into our lives and sweep us off our feet in passionate love and carry us off into the sunset to live happily ever after!

"However [and she would be emphatic at the "however" word], we have to be convinced that such a man adores us and is responsibly prepared to undertake for our every need or the whole carrying us off bit won't work!"

I always marveled at hearing my Mother make such statements: she both gave full credibility to my male drive opposite what the feminist movement did while also teaching me how to handle that drive for edifying results! I learned from Mom that my job was to make sure I FIRST got to know and love the inner person of the woman I saw as attractive, and to convey that love to her in building up mutual trust. I ALSO had to get the education and skills needed to provide for her. Only AFTER these other issues were set could I do the "carry her off into the sunset" bit!

Toward fulfilling, stable marriages, may we men AND women rightly relate to the Lord through trusting in Christ as our first priority, John 3:16. Then, ACCEPTING our GOD ORDAINED male and female natures, may we rely on the Holy Spirit's power (Gal. 5:16) rightly to heed Hebrews 13:4 in a fulfilling way in orderly, stable marriages in great contrast to what occurs in much of the troubled, lost world.