OVERCOMING THE DYSFUNCTIONS OF ISRAEL’S PATRIARCHS

XV. Our Need To Learn From Past Troubled Marriages

(Genesis 29:31-30:24)

I. Introduction

A. Abraham, Isaac and Jacob, Israel’s patriarchs and their respective wives and families, though blessed of God, were imperfect people who at times made huge mistakes that led to serious marital and family dysfunction.

B. Thankfully, Romans 15:4 states that we can learn from whatsoever things were written in the Old Testament for our edification, and that includes our learning how to overcome the dysfunctions of Israel’s patriarchs.

C. We view Genesis 29:31-30:24 on our need to learn from past troubled marriages for insight and application:

II. Our Need To Learn From Past Troubled Marriages, Genesis 29:31-30:24.

A. By the time Jacob was married, rivalry in marital relationships had proved to be disruptive for the patriarchs:

1. When Sarai had been childless for some years, she gave her maid Hagar to Abram to produce through her an heir to his name and possessions, Genesis 16:1-4a.

2. This effort backfired when Hagar became pregnant by Abraham only to despise her barren mistress Sarai, and Sarai treated Hagar roughly so that Hagar fled from Sarai into the wilderness, Genesis 16:4b-7.

3. The Angel of the Lord, the Preincarnate Christ, directed Hagar to return to her mistress with the promise that He would greatly bless the son of Abram whom Hagar would bear, Genesis 16:8-16.

4. However, when God later enabled Sarah to bear her own son Isaac, Hagar’s son Ishmael mocked Sarah’s young son Isaac, infuriating Sarah who urged her husband Abraham to cast out Hagar and Ishmael for Ishmael could not be the heir along with her son Isaac, Genesis 21:1-10.

5. Abraham was distressed over Sarah’s urging, but God told him to listen to Sarah since Abraham’s seed through whom the Abrahamic Covenant would be fulfilled would come through Isaac, Genesis 21:11-13.

6. Thus, Abraham had to send his oldest son Ishmael and his mother Hagar away, Genesis 21:14-21.

B. However, Jacob had not learned from the history of Sarah and Hagar to avoid showing favoritism in marriage, and he consequently experienced great conflict in his own marital life, Genesis 29:31-30:24:

1. After Laban tricked Jacob into marrying Laban’s plain, older daughter Leah, Jacob married Leah’s younger sister Rachel, and Jacob loved Rachel but not Leah. God thus sought to balance the marriage by keeping Rachel barren while making Leah fertile, and Leah bore Reuben, Simeon, Levi and Judah, naming these sons with the hope that her husband would love her for her giving him these sons, Genesis 29:31-35.

2. However, Rachel envied Leah’s fertility, so she ordered Jacob to get her pregnant lest she die, Gen. 30:1!

3. Jacob was angry that Rachel blamed him for her barrenness, and he claimed God had withheld children from her, so Rachel had Jacob take her maid Bilhah and bear children in Rachel’s behalf, Gen. 30:2-4.

4. Jacob through Bilhah then produced Dan and Naphtali, and Rachel reflected in the names she gave these two sons of Bilhah the strife she had with her sister Leah in handling her barrenness, Genesis 30:5-8.

5. When Leah saw that she had stopped bearing, not to be outdone by her sister Rachel, she in turn gave Jacob her maid Zilpah to raise up seed in her name through Jacob, Genesis 30:9. Zilpah proceeded to bear Jacob two sons whom Leah named Gad and Asher, again reflecting her trials in marriage, Gen. 30:10-13.

6. At this point in the union of Jacob, Leah and Rachel, Leah’s son Reuben found some mandrakes in the field and brought them to his mother, Gen. 30:14a. Mandrakes were thought to be an aphrodisiac for enhancing sexual desire, so Reuben was trying to help his mother Leah bear more children to assist her in her competition with Rachel for Jacob’s love (Ryrie Study Bible, KJV, 1978, ftn. to Gen. 30:14-18)!

7. Rachel asked Leah for the mandrakes to boost her fertility, but Leah refused, charging Rachel with taking her husband’s love and trying to take her son’s mandrakes! Rachel then offered Leah the opportunity for Leah to be intimate that night with Jacob if Rachel could have the mandrakes, Gen. 30:15. Leah agreed, and so she bore Issachar and Zebulun, naming them in reflection of her strife with Rachel, Gen. 30:16-21.

8. God remembered Rachel’s plight and gave her the fertility to bear Jacob’s son Joseph, Genesis 30:22-24.

Lesson: In failing to learn from the relationship costs of a competitive spirit in a polygamous marriage seen in the history of his grandparents Abraham and Sarah, Jacob favored Rachel over Leah so that God compensated for this favoritism by making the unloved Leah fertile while keeping the loved Rachel barren. The competition between these wives became so coarse that God graciously gave Rachel fertility so she could bear Joseph!

Application: May we learn from the mistakes of past generations what NOT to do to avoid problems in our lives!