Nepaug Bible Church - http://www.nepaugchurch.org - Pastor's Adult Sunday School Notes - http://www.nepaugchurch.org/bb/bb20050821.htm

BIBLICALLY PARENTING THE MATURING CHILD
Part VIII: When Our Children Wed Outside Of Biblical Guidelines
(Samson and His Parents - Judges 14:1-10)
  1. Introduction
    1. We parents are to raise our children in the respect and admonition of the Lord, Ephesians 6:1-4. This command applies not only when they are very young, but as they are maturing into adulthood.
    2. However, it is possible for our children to choose or need to choose to wed a party who does not pass Scriptural qualifications for our children. This "cross" can not only hurt us as parents, but confuse us as to what our role should be toward our child and his or her spouse in the future.
    3. God has a message for parents caught in such a dilemma -- and it is found in Judges 14:1-10 as follows:
  2. When Our Children Wed Outside Of Biblical Guidelines, Samson and His Parents - Judges 14:1-10.
    1. God's will for Samson in the realm of choosing a mate for life was set on several fronts:
      1. The Mosaic Law expressly forbade Hebrews from marrying the Gentiles around them, Deut. 7:1-4. Like today's Christian, they were not to be "unequally yoked" with unbelievers, 2 Corinthians 6:14.
      2. Besides, Samson was called of God from the womb to be a Nazarite, a calling by which God required him to be uniquely separated unto God from defilement for service, Judges 13:2-5; Numbers 6:1-21.
      3. God had also directed Israel through Joshua to displace several pagan people groups in the land, and one of those groups was the Philistines, Joshua 13:1-2. Samson was to have no fellowship with them.
    2. Yet, regardless (1) of his calling as a Nazarite to be uniquely separated unto God for his ministry, (2) regardless of the Law's rule against a Hebrew marrying a pagan and (3) regardless if the Philistines were to be dispossessed, Samson wanted to marry a Philistine woman in Timnath, Judges 14:1-2!
    3. Samson's parents expressed their objections to his announcement of this choice, asking how he could not at least consider choosing a partner from his own tribe or from one of the tribes of Israel, Judges 14:3a. However, regardless of their objections, Samson insisted on marrying the Philistine girl outside of the expressed Biblical will of God, Judges 14:3b.
    4. Now, Samson's parents were not aware that God was permitting Samson to make this errant choice, for doing so would lead him into conflict with the Philistines so that God might use him to destroy many of them, Judges 14:4. This was God's calling for him, for Judges 16:23-25, 30 reveals that in death, Samson destroyed the leaders of the Philistines so Israel could later conquer this troubling enemy, 2 Samuel 8:1.
    5. However, ignorant of this long-term divine plan, Samson's heartbroken parents gave their consent to his wish, and helped arrange for his wedding down in the land of the Philisti nes, Judges 14:5, 10.
    6. God graciously gave Samson the strength to kill a lion he met en route to indicate God would use him even in his disobedience to achieve God's purposes regarding the Philistines, Judges 14:5b-6. Like God's later use of the evil Babylonians to defeat and capture His people due to their sin against Him (Habakkuk 1:13 with 2:6-8), God would use the less-than-perfect Samson to begin to weaken the Philistine nation.
    7. Nevertheless, Samson paid a huge price for his choice of a Philistine wife: it eventually led to his torture, humiliation and premature death, Judges 15-16; yet, even then, he was used of God to inflict great damage on the Philistines for the later benefit of the people of God, Judges 16:21, 23, 25, 30.
Lesson: When Samson refused to heed his parents' objections to his choosing to marry a Philistine woman outside of God's Biblical guidelines, the Lord graciously used him to accomplish His own purposes for Samson's life though Samson paid a huge, tragic price for it in the process!

Application: (1) We parents must not lose all hope if our maturing child marries a party outside of God's Biblically revealed will. God is STILL sovereign and He is still working in the child's life! (2) Recall our children will pay a price in trouble if they wed outside of God's will, but we should keep them in prayer for their discipling advances, anyway. (3) As our child and his or her spouse may IN TIME be discipled to come to some level of Christian maturity, after the wedding, we should try to disciple both our child and his (or her) spouse! (4) We must refuse to feel guilty if our child marries outside of God's will. God holds US accountable for HOW we RAISE our children, NOT for WHO THEY CHOOSE to WED, 1 Corinthians 3:13-15; 2 Corinthians 5:9-10.