Nepaug Bible Church - http://www.nepaugchurch.org - Pastor's Adult Sunday School Notes - http://www.nepaugchurch.org/bb/bb20020414.htm

THE ROLES OF CHRISTIAN MEN AND WOMEN
Part IV: Biblically Identifying And Responding To Spousal Abuse
(2 Timothy 3:1-5, 13-17 with Jeremiah 17:5-8)
  1. Introduction
    1. Verbal & physical abuse afflicts many marriages (cf. Patricia Evans, The Verbally Abusive Relationship).
    2. Secular works often offer correct definitions on spousal abuse but suggest unbiblical responses to it.
    3. This lesson offers a primer on BIBLICALLY identifying and responding to such spousal abuse!
  2. Biblically Identifying And Responding To Spousal Abuse, 2 Timothy 3:1-5, 13-17; Jeremiah 17:5-8.
    1. If a party does not believe in Christ and live by means of the Holy Spirit's power, he or she is controlled by the sin nature and fails to relate wholesomely to his or her spouse (cf. Lesson I; Galatians 5:16-17).
    2. If unchecked, that state may lead to the sinful party performing verbal abuse and possibly physical abuse toward the spouse. This ruinous problem's characteristics are described in 2 Timothy 3:1-5a (as follows):
      1. In the Church's latter days (today), Paul wrote the Spirit warned hard times would come, 2 Tim. 3:1.
      2. These days would be marked by people with the following abusive characteristics (as translated from the Greek N. T., cf. UBS Grk. N. T., p. 735; Arndt & Ging., A Grk.-Engl. Lex. of the N. T.; Moulton & Milligan, The Voc. of the Grk. N. T.): people will be (a) self-centered, (b) lovers of money, (c) boastful, (d) proud, (e) injurious in speech, (f) disobedient to parents, (g) ungrateful, (h) unholy (not separate from evil), (i) without normal attraction to others, (j) irreconcilable, (k) slanderous, (l) without self-control, (m) untamed, (n) not loving what is wholesome, (o) traitors, (p) reckless, (q) conceited, (r) lovers of pleasure more than lovers of God and (s) having an outward form of godliness but denying it spiritual power, 2 Timothy 3:2-5a.
    3. When a party REGULARLY exhibits any, some or all of these attitudes and their related behaviors, God calls the believer to "pull back from" that party (apotrepou = middle voice of apotrepo, "pull back ties with, shrink from"), Ibid.; cf. also Thayer, Liddell & Scott lexicons). This means one must NOT let himself become emotionally, mentally or physically vulnerable to that party so as NOT to be forcibly mentally, emotionally or physically enslaved by his or her actions to one's own harm (to protect one's self, the purpose of the middle voice, cf. J. Gresham Machan, N. T. Greek for Beginners, p. 57, par. 109).
    4. This directive applies to ABUSE in MARRIAGE in view of what other Scriptures teach (as follows):
      1. There is a technical contradiction between (1) first, (a) the directive in 1 Peter 3:6 for a woman to practice self-imposed slavery to her husband, and second, (b) the call for a wife to submit to her spouse in Eph. 5:22, and (2) conversely (a) the call in 2 Timothy 3:1-5a for a believer to "pull back ties with" an abusive party and (b) God's call in 1 Corinthians 7:23 NIV ordering a believer not to let himself or herself be forcibly ruled BY any other party, which would also include forcible rule by one's spouse!
      2. Thus, we must here use the "mercy" Scripture-application principle taught by Jesus in Matt. 12:1-7:
        1. Generally, a wife is to practice SELF-imposed slavery to her spouse as 1 Peter 3:6 says, but not if her spouse tries to force her (abuse) into subjection in ways 2 Timothy 3:1-5a reports in technical contradiction to 1 Peter 3:6, for she is to apply that Scripture in technical contradiction with the other that most reflects God's "mercy" as clarified by Jesus Christ in Matthew 12:1-7.
        2. Thus, to the degree a spouse must go to protect his or her (or a dependent's) welfare, he or she is to "pull back ties with" the abusive spouse (i.e., restraining orders, geographical relocation, etc.).
        3. Yet, God does not advocate initiating a divorce, for the errant one may still repent, 1 Cor. 7:12-14.
    5. In the process, one lets his or her view of reality be defined ONLY by Scripture, Jeremiah 17:5-8; 2 Timothy 3:13-17. This will offer comprehensive protection against abusive mind controllers.
Lesson Application: (1) Though we ALWAYS seek the IDEAL in marriage (lessons I-III), if one discerns from 2 Tim. 3:1-5a he (or she) is being mentally, emotionally or physically abused by the spouse, for his (or her) own walk with God, and in keeping with God's mercy in applying Scripture's technical contradictions as Matthew 12:1-7 reveals, what steps short of divorce are needed should be taken to "shrink back" from the abusive spouse for protection of the afflicted spouse [or vulnerable dependents] in accord with 2 Tim. 3:5b! (2) The afflicted should make Scripture his or her SOLE source of reality for help against being mentally controlled by the abuser, 2 Tim. 3:13-17; Jer. 17:5-8!