Nepaug Bible Church - http://www.nepaugchurch.org - Pastor's Adult Sunday School Notes - http://www.nepaugchurch.org/bb/bb20020331.htm

THE ROLES OF CHRISTIAN MEN AND WOMEN
Part II: The BIBLICAL Role Of Christian MEN
(Genesis 2-4; 1 Corinthians 11:3; Ephesians 5:18, 25-33a; 1 Timothy 2:12-14; 1 Peter 3:7)
  1. Introduction
    1. Many Christians "know" that Christian wives should "submit" to their husbands as the "head of the woman is the man" to cite words from Ephesians 5:22 and 1 Corinthians 11:3 respectively.
    2. However, when men seek to enforce such submission from their wives, or seek to enforce their oversight by ordering their wives around, problems readily arise.
    3. We examine Scripture on the proper role for men for insight that resolves many marital troubles:
  2. The BIBLICAL Role Of Christian MEN, Gen. 2-4; 1 Cor. 11:3; Eph. 5:18, 25-33a; 1 Tim. 2:13-14.
    1. Though wives are to "submit" to their husbands as Ephesians 5:22 says, Scripture never lets husbands enforce such submission, or command their wives to submit! Submission is the sole function of the wife!
    2. Thus, to correct misconceptions on the role of husbands, we review God's creative order as follows:
      1. When God made the woman, He brought her to the man so he could name her in sovereignty over her like he did the animals over which he ruled, Gen. 1:27-28; 2:19-20a, 20b-23; Z.P.E.B., v. Four, p. 363.
      2. Yet, God made the woman not from man's foot for him to trample her, neither from his head for her to rule him, but from his rib at his side to protect his heart as a "helper," Gen. 2:20; B.K.C.O.T., p. 31.
    3. Incorporating these insights with other Scriptures, we have a pattern for how men are to relate to women:
      1. Men should relate to their wives as follows:
        1. The husband is to be responsible ultimately for everything his wife needs and does as the final human overseer in the relationship. Thus, all chores around the house the wife performs are to be viewed by the husband as his OWN responsibilities that his wife merely HELPS HIM do!
        2. The husband must not "boss" his wife, for she came not from his feet for him to trample, but from his side picturing her protecting his heart as his "beloved helper," Ibid., B.K.C.O.T.! Thus, the husband must treat his wife respectfully in a nurturing way for God's blessing, cf. Eph. 5:25, 28-29.
        3. In relation to physical intimacy, the husband must not be embittered at the swift or unpredictable mood changes his wife may exhibit with corresponding shifting behaviors: he must know this "feminine weakness" caused by the Adamic curse relative to her reproductive system (Gen. 3:16) is God-ordained to keep him realizing he must lead his wife rather than irresponsibly let her rule him (as Adam errantly let Eve lead him with the fruit, Gen. 3:6, 12, 17). Failure to be considerate of the wife here breaks a husband's fellowship with God, 1 Peter 3:7, so husbands must be careful here!
      2. Men should relate to women in general as follows:
        1. Christian men should be responsible for the welfare of all women around them much like a parent views himself as responsible for all subordinate dependents in his household, 1 Cor. 11:3. This means a man must do his own thinking and functioning INSTEAD OF subjecting his thoughts and actions to any woman's directive, including that of his wife, cf. Genesis 3:6 with 3:17.
        2. On the other hand, Christian men should not verbally or physically ABUSE any woman just like they would not abuse themselves, but commit themselves to their nurture, Ephesians 5:28-29!
        3. In the church, men should assume headship, doing the leading and teaching, 1 Timothy 2:12-14.
      3. As the man is the head of the woman (1 Cor. 11:3), the responsibility for success in all relating between men and women in all realms rests mainly (although not exclusively) with the men.
Lesson: A Christian man is always to assume responsibility for the welfare of all women whose welfare he can affect, doing his OWN thinking and acting accordingly, but WITHOUT a dictatorial, abusive or disrespectful posturing toward women. In the particular relationship with his wife, a Christian man must take responsible headship in a way that gives self-sacrificing priority to the nurture of his wife.

Application: Opposite the tendency of the sin nature in a man either to try ABUSING a woman, or to ABDICATE RESPONSIBILITY so that the woman feels she must "mother" him, a Christian man CONTROLLED by the HOLY SPIRIT (see lesson one) is to take RESPONSIBLE but NURTURING OVERSIGHT in relating to all women in general, and that MOSTLY to his WIFE in particular.