THRU THE BIBLE EXPOSITION

The Books Of Samuel: God's Shift Of Israel From Apostasy Under The Judges To David's Reign

II. 2 Samuel: The Reign Of David Over Israel

G. Heeding David's Example Of Handling Verbal Abuse

(2 Samuel 6:16-23)

Introduction: (To show the need . . .)

Verbal abuse is destructive and widespread today, yet its victims often do not know how to handle it well:

(1) Patricia Evans' work, The Verbally Abusive Relationship that Newsweek claimed was "a groundbreaking new book" when it came out in the 1990s defined verbal abuse as "a lie told to you or about you. Generally, verbal abuse defines people, telling them what they are, what they think, their motives, and so forth." (verbalabuse.com)

(2) According to this definition, many men verbally abuse their wives and girlfriends (Ibid.), and in my ministry, women have long told me of verbal abuse cases, and I have repeatedly witnessed such abuse in public!

(3) This problem works both ways, for many women verbally abuse men: (a) Cathy Young's piece, "Feminists treat men badly. It's bad for feminism" (washingtonpost.com June 30, 2016) claimed, "Feminist commentary regularly puts the nastiest possible spin on male behavior and motives," and this attitude has spread throughout the culture as "radical feminist theories have migrated from academic and activist fringes into mainstream conversation."

(b) Mark Judge, a journalist whose works have appeared in the Washington Post, The New York Times and The Wall Street Journal, claims, "Feminists have worked so hard over the last fifty years to turn men from ogres to enlightened companions that they feel any concession that women are also capable of abuse is a betrayal of the cause . . . Yet abuse experts have argued that emotional abuse can be worse than physical abuse . . . Emotional abuse which men can tolerate and excuse away as normal, can go on for years, leaving a person weak, desperate, and profoundly suicidal." Thus, "(w)omen . . . just like men" can "be pathological narcissists who torture their husbands and boyfriends." ("Women Who Emotionally Abuse Men," acculturated.com)

(4) Yet, knowing how to handle verbal abuse is another problem: if a victim rebukes her abuser, she can invite physical abuse by infuriating him, but if she keeps taking the abuse, she can suffer great emotional and mental harm.

Need: Accordingly, we ask, "How does God want us to handle verbal abuse in an edifying way?!"

I. David was verbally abused by his wife Michal for how he was dressed for a public event, 2 Sam. 6:16-20:

A. When the ark was being taken to Jerusalem, David wholeheartedly worshiped God, leaping, dancing and whirling around before the Lord dressed in a linen ephod, a "sleeveless priestly garment extending to the hips," 2 Samuel 6:14-16; Ryrie Study Bible, KJV, 1978, ftns. to 2 Samuel 6:14 and 6:16.

B. David was not wearing his royal robes, but was dressed as a regular priest (Ibid., ftn. to 2 Sam. 6:20), and as his wife Michal looked out of a window and saw him dancing, she "despised him in her heart," 2 Sam. 6:16.

C. After David finished his worship and celebrated the occasion by giving gifts to the people who were present, he returned to his house to bless his household where his wife Michal came outside and publicly verbally abused him. She publicly mocked David for allegedly shaming himself in front of his female servants by dressing as a mere priest in public rather than wearing his royal robes as Israel's king, 2 Samuel 6:17-20.

II. Examining Michal's words in light of the context reveals that worldliness had led to her verbal abuse:

A. Michal had been raised in a home where her father, king Saul, notoriously relied on worldly human might for success versus obeying the Lord to gain His reward in a life of faith in God, cf. 1 Samuel 15:17-23.

B. Similarly, Michal also held to a worldly view of David: when 1 Samuel 18:20 claims she "loved" him, her "love" was not due to David's spiritual qualifications as a man of God, but because he appealed to her lusts:

1. David had recently slain Goliath, giving Israel great victory so that Israel's women had sung his praises over even the praises of her father, king Saul, 1 Samuel 18:6-7. Saul had since then assigned David to be commander over Saul's army, and David had then proceeded to lead the army in victorious campaigns against the Philistines, 1 Samuel 18:13-16 NIV. David thus appealed to Michal's pride of this earthly life.

2. David was handsome (1 Samuel 16:12), what appealed to Michal's lust of the eyes.

3. He was also an eligible bachelor, so with these other issues, David appealed to Michal's lust of the flesh.

4. These three lusts (pride, eyes, flesh) are the defined as the lusts of worldliness in 1 John 2:15-16.

C. Thus, when David dressed-down to worship in public, Michal felt his action hurt the respect Israel's women had gained for him when he first slew Goliath to where even his female household slaves would spurn him! Thus, David no longer appealed to Michal's pride, so she despised him in her heart!

III. In contrast to Michal's worldly viewpoint, DAVID considered all of his blessings as being ENTIRELY GRANTED by GOD, so he EXPLAINED this to Michal in a clear, calm way in 2 Samuel 6:21-22:

A. David told Michael that he had dressed down to dance before the Lord as God had chosen him before Michal's father and house to be king, so he would not apologize for humbling himself before God, 2 Samuel 6:21.

B. Viewing his past, this statement correctly credits God for all of David's rise to power and fame (as follows):

1. David's handsome looks was God's gift to him at his birth, an attribute over which David had no control!

2. David began as a lowly shepherd boy, and so lowly was this occupation that his father Jesse had not even initially brought him to the feast with Samuel where David was to be anointed king, 1 Samuel 16:10-13.

3. Yet, the Lord had directed Samuel to anoint David as Israel's next king, and empowered him with the Holy Spirit to where David could kill a lion, a bear and Goliath and gain success and fame, 1 Sam. 16:13-18:16.

IV. David added that he would make himself even more contemptible than he had in Michal's worldly viewpoint by continuing to act humbly before God, but that he would be held in honor by his household female slaves in contrast to Michal's claim that these women would despise him, 2 Samuel 6:22.

V. This prophecy was fulfilled by Michal's dying childless, 2 Sam. 6:23: barrenness meant a lack of divine blessing (Ex. 23:25-26), so when Michal died childless, David's female slaves who heard him correct her critique of him knew God supported his correction through keeping her barren, so they honored David!

Lesson: When Michal publicly verbally abused David for humbly dressing and worshiping before the Lord, David did not respond by using equally abusive language against Michal, but he corrected her worldly view by testifying of God's work and blessing in his life through the Holy Spirit's enabling, and by sticking to his upright actions, trusting God to preserve what honor God had already given him.

Application: To handle verbal abuse, (1) may we first trust in Christ for salvation from sin to become a child of God and be indwelt by the Holy Spirit for power in living, John 3:16; Romans 8:9; 8:3-4. (2) Then, (a) may we realize that verbal abuse arises from one who adopts worldly values of indulging in the lusts of the flesh, the eyes or false pride, that we (b) RESIST thinking of ourselves from such a perspective, (c) but stick to GOD'S VIEW of US as revealed in His WORD so as to KEEP SERVING HIM, (d) leaving to HIM to honor us before the verbally abusive and the rest of the world. (e) In then answering the verbally abusive, may we like David gently testify that we are heeding GOD'S BIBLICAL perspective of what we ARE and what we are to DO as a witness to them!

Conclusion: (To illustrate the message . . . )

A harmful verbally abusive remark that is often made today is this: "You'll never amount to anything."

If you have been told this debilitating remark, or one similar to it, here is an example of how the Lord wants you to respond to it by utilizing His Scriptural view. You can apply this by saying to yourself the following words:

(1) "Since I trusted in Jesus Christ as my Savior, (a) God has bestowed His infinite favor (charitoo, Arndt & Gingrich, A Grk.-Eng. Lex. of the N. T., 1967, p. 887) on me so that I am as favored as was Mary, the earthly mother of Jesus was to bear the Lord Jesus, for the verb charitoo is used only of Mary's being graced of God in Luke 1:28 and of believers like me being graced of God in Ephesians 1:6 in all of the New Testament; Ibid.! Yet, (b) due to the cross of Christ, God views me today as existing "in the Beloved" Son of God, Jesus Christ Himself, so I am infinitely accepted and loved by God the Father just as He has infinitely accepted and loved His Beloved Son, Jesus Christ!"

(2) "Also, God has foreordained every good work that He wants me to perform for Him, Ephesians 2:10."

(3) "When I was saved, God sovereignly decided which spiritual gift for effective service for Him that He wanted to give me, and He gave it to me at the moment of my salvation, 1 Corinthians 12:4-11; 1 Peter 4:10-11."

(4) "If I develop and use that gift, I will succeed in God's assignments, 2 Timothy 1:6-7; 1 Timothy 4:14-16."

(5) "When God evaluates me at the Judgment Seat of Christ after the rapture, if I have obeyed God's will in doing the works He assigned me in His gifting and power, He will give me an eternal reward, 1 Corinthians 3:10-14."

(6) "At that time, I will be a productive servant of God, and the verbally abusive remark that I would never amount to anything will forever be proved to be false, for I will then have become an overcomer in Jesus Christ!"

[(7) If the situation allows you to say as much without inflaming the abusive party more, you can calmly share this information with him. Otherwise, simply dwell on the spiritual facts involved and stay busy heeding the Lord!]

May we trust in Christ for salvation. Then, if facing verbal abuse, may we fill our minds with Scripture that directs us how to think and to act like GOD wants us to think and to act. Then, if given the opportunity, may we gently answer those who verbally abuse us, testifying of God's enablings of us and His directives for us.